Daisy started to clear the plates only to stop and stare once more at the steps leading to the trail. She yearned to watch her best, bite-size friend, Peppers, scrambling off the porch steps, excited for the trail walk to the picturesque cranberry bog. Peppers, seven pounds of pure Yorkshire terrier, would chase frightened squirrels clambering back up trees, their cheeks crammed full of acorns.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Her husband Paul recognized she was daydreaming again, calmly clearing the plates then washing them in the sink. Paul had never enjoyed the mile-long walk, despite creating the trail years ago using his trusty machete, hacking through thick underbrush and sturdy tree limbs, their branches like thin, long fingers. To Daisy, the walk was nothing extraordinary but worth what waited for them at the end. The cranberry bog had always looked like an oasis in the middle of a desert jungle, filled with hundreds of floating cranberries. The water was so still she swore she could hear even the slightest ripples in the water.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
The cranberry bog had been Peppers\u2019 favorite place. He would happily circle the bog repeatedly. The outside world faded away, if only for a moment, in the serenity of the bog. Frogs lazily hopped to the next lily pad. The occasional crane made an appearance, soaring silently along the tree line.<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Paul put his arm on her shoulder, forcing her back to the present. \u201cI miss him, too.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n
Daisy fought back tears. She was tired of crying all the time. It would get easier<\/em>, she kept telling herself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you think you\u2019re ready?\u201d he asked nervously, walking on a massive eggshell. Daisy responded with silence as she had one week ago when asked the same question. He squeezed her shoulders and returned to the kitchen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Her eyes felt wet and glassy. \u201cWe owe it to him to try.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul retrieved a shovel and gently carried a small wooden box under his arm. Daisy followed him outside to the makeshift wooden steps leading to the opening. \u201cWait,\u201d she said, \u201cI\u2019ll carry him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She cried again holding what was left of her sweet boy, making certain not to stain the box with her tears. The weight of it was nothing compared to the invisible guilt bearing down on her. For the first time, the walk she had cherished for so long frightened her. With each step, she wanted to turn around, run home and avoid seeing that awful place ever again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul put his arm around her, \u201cIt\u2019s going to be alright, honey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow can you say that?\u201d she asked. \u201cHow can I ever get over this?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou will. I have faith in you,\u201d Paul said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m going to hold you to it,\u201d Daisy said, managing a tearful smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She stopped short of entering the clearing. That terrible day came flooding back. Pepper\u2019s cries for help as he struggled in the water. Her, unforgivably oblivious, sifting through meaningless news articles on her phone, regarding Peppers cries as playing. Peppers had made crying sounds so many times before, turning out to be nothing more than him rolling around in the grass or chasing frightened deer.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Collapsing to the ground, the box slipped out of her hands. She cried, yelled, pounded at the ground. \u201cMy best friend! My best friend in the whole world! How did I let this happen?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul picked up the box and helped Daisy to her feet, \u201cCome on, honey. Help me pick a spot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She knew exactly where Pepper\u2019s had fallen in but dared not go near. She felt sick thinking of that day, her legs trembling, her thoughts spinning like a merry-go-round. Pepper\u2019s had tracked a large toad swimming in the water to the other side of the lake. Being on her phone, she missed seeing when he jumped into the water in pursuit, something he had never done before. His cries could have lasted seconds or minutes. She didn\u2019t remember anymore. Those terrible sounds played in her head like scalding hot knives piercing her brain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul set down the box and shovel, \u201cI\u2019d be happy to pick a spot.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPlease,\u201d Daisy said, wracked with regret.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul circled the lake to the halfway point and got to work. He was not surprised when he heard their beloved pooch had drowned. Prior to the accidental drowning, Pepper\u2019s started to show his age, his legs and energy level rapidly declining.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Before Pepper\u2019s had entered their lives, he had cautioned Daisy that getting a puppy would be too much work for the two of them. The truth is that he\u2019d done enough babysitting for a lifetime raising two boys, now out of the house living their own lives. Daisy, normally soft-spoken, had raised a fuss, standing her ground, insisting she needed some family in her life besides the occasional visit from their two sons.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Pepper\u2019s final resting place was ready, the hole\u2019s depth and width twice that of the box. He whistled and signaled for her to come over. The box felt even heavier in Daisy\u2019s hands now, as if she was carrying Peppers body instead of a bag of ashes. The bog had transformed from Pepper\u2019s favorite place on Earth to the site of one of the worst days of her life Was this really where she wanted to bury her sweet boy? She cursed the toadstools, the frogs idly laying on them, wishing something, anything, could be blamed besides her own negligence. Paul encouraged her as she repeatedly apologized and carefully lowered the wooden box into the ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul covered the box with loose dirt and said, \u201cYou can\u2019t keep beating yourself up.\u201d He had been saying this all week. It was getting old, fast.<\/p>\n\n\n\n I wish it were that easy, <\/em>she thought.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy couldn\u2019t find the right words to say. She had come to love the silence of the cranberry bog. Now, she despised it. The frogs should scream, the birds howl, the deer stampeding past, shattering the angry voice in her head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPeppers\u2019, Paul began, pulling Daisy into his chest, \u201cI\u2019m grateful you made my Daisy the happiest dog mom on the planet. We\u2019ll miss you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI loved you, so much,\u201d Daisy knelt, patting the ground firm. \u201cI let you down. I know I did. I wish I could go back in time and smash that phone.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe doesn\u2019t want to hear that,\u201d Paul said. \u201cPeppers loved you to the moon and back. He\u2019s still here with us now. Tell him how much you love him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat kind of love was he getting when he was drowning, and I stood here like a stupid statue?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt was an accident, my love. I know, somewhere, he\u2019s watching, and he doesn\u2019t blame you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI betrayed him, Paul. He\u2019s dead and it\u2019s my fault!\u201d She stood and ran for home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul pleaded for her to come back but she refused. This felt impossible. No amount of sappy words would undo the damage she\u2019d caused. She ran as fast as she could, seeing Peppers peering at her from behind every bush and tree, the jingle of his collar echoing in the forest. Paul soon caught up to her. Taking her hand, she slowed down and they walked home together.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Back home, Daisy threw herself into chores, rewashing the dishes that were already clean, running a load of clothes already cleaned, dusting furniture three times over, even mowing and weeding the lawn, baffling Paul who had always managed the lawn. They decided they needed to get out of the house and splurged on a dinner and movie. It was nine-thirty p.m. by the time they got home. Daisy dove into a book she could recite by heart, staying up uncharacteristically late. Paul kept his distance, giving her the space she needed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can\u2019t ever go back there,\u201d Daisy said the next morning in bed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou can, and you will. You need closure. Otherwise, this will fester.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI just can\u2019t!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know I can\u2019t say anything to ease the pain, but let me at least say say this. The grief will never go away but gets easier with time. It\u2019s easy to say now, but it\u2019s true.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMaybe if he had been hit by a car or died of cancer. This is different.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re strong. You\u2019ll come to forgive yourself. I know it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou wouldn\u2019t be saying that if you had been on watch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re probably right.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not helping.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat can I do? I feel like this is eating away at you more and more every day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She sighed, annoyed, \u201cThere\u2019s nothing you can do. There\u2019s not a simple fix for this. I need time to process this. If it\u2019s tomorrow, great. It might be never!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul crept out of bed, \u201cI\u2019ll make breakfast.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The smell of bacon soon filled the home, drawing Daisy to the kitchen. Paul had outdone himself, cooking pancakes, eggs, hash browns, and sausage links. \u201cThank you, honey,\u201d Daisy said, pouring orange juice for them both. \u201cSorry for yelling.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t worry about it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Halfway through breakfast, Daisy broke the uncomfortable silence, \u201cYou don\u2019t have to avoid talking to me.\u201d Paul was normally the chatty one.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI was giving you space.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnd you have. Talk to me. I can\u2019t stand the quiet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you still going to your book club this afternoon?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She about had a panic attack, \u201cOh! I completely forgot! I haven\u2019t even started the book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI thought the book you read last night was for the club.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo. That\u2019s the one I should have been reading, though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI think you should go anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWho says I wasn\u2019t going?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI assumed you wouldn\u2019t because you said you didn\u2019t read the book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWouldn\u2019t you find it rude if I showed up to your book club without having read the book?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo idea. I\u2019ve never been to one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere you have it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHaven\u2019t you told me the conversations are about more than just the book?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMost of the time.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSo, maybe they\u2019ll talk about something you can talk about that\u2019s not the book. It would help clear your head for a little bit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t know about that. But, it\u2019s a good idea. The worst that can happen is I sit there awkwardly listening for an hour.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul cleared the table and washed the dishes. She was so grateful to have him in her life. The thought of being alone terrified her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBetter than sitting around here watching me do lawn work,\u201d Paul said, washing the inside of a glass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI took care of it yesterday.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou did, but you missed some weeds in the garden,\u201d he said with a smile.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPity that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She remembered not having taken the clothes out of the dryer and, per her latest routine, checked under the laundry room sink to see that Pepper\u2019s wooden box was really gone. It felt off-putting to not see it next to the container of bleach and hydrogen peroxide. She had looked at it every day, sometimes talking to it, other times crying.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul was right. She needed to get out of the house as much as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veranda had hosted a monthly book club since she met her in high school. Over the years, the members had whittled down to a tight knit, ride-or-die group of four friends. Standing outside Veranda\u2019s home, she reflexively gripped a leash that wasn\u2019t there. A leash attached to an excited Peppers, whom the four of them lovingly referred to as \u2018Peps, The Book Club Mascot.\u2019<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy rang the doorbell. Veranda promptly answered, welcoming her inside, proudly presenting raisin bread. Daisy couldn\u2019t help but feel saddened seeing the row of hooks by the front door where Peppers fluorescent green leash once hung. When you adopt a dog, nobody tells you how painful your normal routine becomes after the loss.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Immediately to the right of the staircase of the main hall was the \u2018tea room\u2019, as Veranda called it, where Megan and Christina sat waiting. \u201cThere she is!,\u201d the two shouted in unison. Daisy reluctantly welcomed their embrace. Even something as simple as a hug made her depressed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The four women claimed their seats around the vintage, gold-tinted table. Delicate China clinked together as Veranda poured cups of English breakfast tea and asked everyone how they were doing. Daisy was the last to answer, \u201cTaking it day by day.\u201d Her response put the girls on edge, aware of what had happened to Peppers.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCrackers and cheese, anyone?\u201d Veranda asked before distributing three cups of tea.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan took a bite of the raisin bread, making certain she had finished chewing before proclaiming it was excellent. Daisy grabbed a piece, then Megan and Veranda. Wiping crumbs away with a napkin, Daisy realized she had not applied makeup, having abandoned most of her daily routine for a month now. Worse, she was still wearing yesterday\u2019s dirty clothes. \u201cI apologize, ladies. I must look awful.\u201d With the embarrassment came her sudden confession, \u201cPaul and I buried Peppers yesterday in the cranberry bog. Worst day of my life.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s a lovely place for him,\u201d Veranda said, \u201cIf you like, I\u2019ll do what I can to get those stains out before you leave.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy didn\u2019t agree about the choice of the burial location but held her tongue, \u201cOh, no. I don\u2019t want to trouble you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veranda squeezed a lemon into her cup, \u201cIt\u2019s no trouble at all. I love a good challenge.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou must take us out there someday,\u201d Christina said, sipping from the teacup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy didn\u2019t want to talk about this anymore, yet she felt compelled to, \u201cThat\u2019s the thing. I don\u2019t know if I can go back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan mercifully switched topics, \u201cLet\u2019s get into it, shall we?\u201d She picked up her copy of A Road To Nowhere, \u201c<\/em>I thought the book was a little slow at first.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veranda balanced her copy in her hands. \u201cI agree. I couldn\u2019t wait for the boyfriend to make a move. What did you think, Daisy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy bit her lip, embarrassed, \u201cI\u2019m afraid to say I didn\u2019t read it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh!\u201d Veranda said, unsure of how to respond.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s your standard boy falls in love with girl he can\u2019t have because of an abusive father so they get together in secret and eventually escape her father\u2019s clutches,\u201d Megan said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veranda laughed, \u201cThat\u2019s pretty much it in a nutshell.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe sex scenes were a bit much. I mean, did the author really have to go into the nitty-gritty bits?\u201d Christina asked, flipping through the book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSex sells,\u201d Daisy said, surprised by her admission.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, definitely,\u201d Veranda said. The others nodded in silent agreement.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI wanted so many times for the boyfriend to beat the snot out of the father,\u201d Megan said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Christina flipped her copy over to the back, \u201cThat would have made for a short read.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVery true,\u201d Megan acquiesced.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy felt so rude in front of Veranda, who took great care in planning her beloved book club. The last thing she ever wanted was to appear disinterested, especially to Veranda. \u201cHow bad was the girlfriend\u2019s father?\u201d she blurted out.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan said, \u201cWell, he frequently beat her. One time, he put her in the hospital.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe was a real piece of work. It was hinted that he poisoned the boyfriend\u2019s dog.\u201d Christina realized what she had said, saw Daisy\u2019s face turn red, and tried to recover, \u201cHe got his comeuppance in the end.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy imagined Peppers sleeping in the small bed next to the couch. He was a well-behaved houseguest, not counting the times he tried to mount the furniture. Veranda refused to allow him on the furniture and for good reason. The loveseat and chairs were expensive antiques of sturdy quality.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Veranda looked at Daisy, \u201cIs it alright if I spoil the ending?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAbsolutely, Veranda. I should have read the book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, I\u2019ll say I thought the father\u2019s demise was rather fitting, but I think it would be obvious to the authorities who had killed him,\u201d Veranda said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFor sure! The Dad dies, and the daughter flees to another state,\u201d Megan said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow did he die?\u201d Daisy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPoisoned,\u201d the other three said in unison.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSame as the dog then,\u201d Daisy said, oddly comforted by the man\u2019s deadly outcome. \u201cFitting indeed.\u201d She had been subconsciously sipping a lot more tea than usual, fidgeting with the cup. Veranda noticed and poured her another cup.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Christina enjoyed a second piece of raisin bread, setting it delicately on the China plate. \u201cI don\u2019t know if killing the father was the answer. Sure, it made for a juicy ending, but child services could have stepped in so many times, what with the bruises the daughter had.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf I remember correctly, wasn\u2019t the boyfriend concerned they might never see each other again?\u201d Veranda said, also indulging in another piece of raisin bread.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, yes, that\u2019s right,\u201d Christina said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot only that,\u201d Megan said, setting the book on the table, \u201cbut child services might pin it on the boyfriend. He wasn\u2019t exactly an outstanding citizen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat was the dog\u2019s name?\u201d Daisy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The other three sat in silence for a moment, either perturbed she was so affixed with the fictional dog or they simply couldn\u2019t remember the dog\u2019s name. Veranda flipped through the first few chapters of the book, \u201cFreddy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat kind?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDalmation.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe bastard, killing such a beautiful animal,\u201d Daisy said, her cheeks turning red again, \u201cI really should have read it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t you worry about it,\u201d Veranda said, \u201cI agree with you, killing a dog is pure evil.\u201d Her face turned pale, realizing what she had said, \u201cI mean to say, intentionally killing a dog is pure evil.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy didn\u2019t take it personally. She was the one focusing on the dog\u2019s part in the book. She really wanted to read the story now, just so she could rejoice in reading about the man receiving his just desserts for killing the poor dog. \u201cVeranda, before I leave, may I trouble you for your copy of the book? I\u2019d like to read it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAbsolutely,\u201d Veranda said, happily handing her the book.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The hour came to an end. Daisy thanked her friends, especially Veranda, for putting up with her poor appearance and behavior. \u201cFeel free to keep it,\u201d Veranda said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s very generous, Veranda. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, don\u2019t let me forget about your dress.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s quite alright, Veranda. I have to get home soon anyway.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you sure?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay. Just give me a minute.\u201d Veranda left the room and returned holding a plastic bag full of Peppers treats, spare collar, leash, and a small plastic container full of white pills. Before Peppers accident, he had been taking gabapentin daily. Daisy hugged her tightly, \u201cThank you for being a good friend.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou never have to thank me,\u201d Veranda said, smiling, \u201cI thought this would be a good time to give you his things. I hope that\u2019s alright.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt is,\u201d Daisy said, daring not to look into the bag for fear she would burst into tears.<\/p>\n\n\n\n As Veranda led her to the door, Daisy felt happy she had joined her friends, and grateful Paul had pushed her to go. Staying at home, reveling in her own self-pity, wouldn\u2019t have done her any good.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan stood waiting by her car, \u201cI have an idea I think would help you with Peppers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy, annoyed and just wanting to go home, deliberately took her time laying the plastic bag on the passenger seat. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe best thing I ever did was take a dog out of the shelter to walk for a few hours. You don\u2019t understand how grateful the dogs are to get out of the shelter and get some fresh air.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI appreciate the offer, Megan, I really do. I just don\u2019t think I\u2019m there yet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI totally understand. If you\u2019re ever in the mood, call me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI will. Thank you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy felt sick driving home, imagining walking through the kennels near her home. Dogs in rows vying for her attention, hoping with everything they have in their little bodies she would be the one to take them home.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan meant well but it felt too soon to try that.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Sitting at the kitchen table, Paul set aside his crossword puzzle to hug her, \u201cI\u2019m so proud of you for going.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She kissed him. \u201cMe too. I needed that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat do you have there?\u201d Paul noticed the book in her hand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She took it into the living room and moaned, \u201cThe book I should<\/em> have read.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow did it go?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBetter than expected,\u201d she said, fluffing her dress, \u201cLet me change first.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Flinging her clothes into the hamper, she practically jumped into the shower, washing away the grime from her fingers and the memory of yesterday, if only for a moment. How foolish I must have looked! Sad, dirty Daisy. <\/em>A graying, sad woman looked back at her in the mirror. Nothing a bit of makeup couldn\u2019t hide.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFeel better?\u201d Paul asked, circling in a seven-letter word, MARTIAN.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She checked her cuticles and dress. All the dirt was gone. \u201cSo much better,\u201d she beamed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Behind Paul in the back yard, a squirrel occupied the green cage feeder just above three crowded hummingbird feeders. The hummingbirds darted back and forth, as if dancing, precisely dipping their beaks in the sugar water. \u201cSquirrels are at it again.\u201d Her comment didn\u2019t surprise Paul. She had filled the nearly empty green cage feeder full of wild bird food only two days ago. Paul had rehung it a few feet above the hummingbird feeders at the end of a hefty branch to try and deter thieving squirrels. Paul had suggested taking pot shots at them with his old BB gun, much to Daisy\u2019s disgust.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTell me about that book you brought home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s nothing, really. A boy chases after a girl with an abusive father.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSounds like you and me, without the bad Dad, of course.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExcuse me, sir. I had to chase you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes, silly.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy recalled the time she had first seen Paul in middle school. Seventh grade, to be exact. He had been deftly swinging from the bars of a jungle gym. Daisy watched, thoroughly impressed. She had grown up very conservative. Don\u2019t jump into new things right away. Take things one at a time. It\u2019s better to be afraid all the time than brave. She wouldn\u2019t even descend the blue slide without seriously considering it first. The boy she watched looked more like a monkey, swinging upside down with ease. Whenever it looked like he was going to fall, he caught himself.<\/p>\n\n\n\n A scared and nervous girl back then, she worked up all her courage to approach him, asking, \u201cAren\u2019t you scared?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cScared of what?\u201d Paul answered mid-swing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFalling and breaking something?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve fallen before. It\u2019s no big deal.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re braver than I am.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t be a wuss then.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy had been quite offended by Paul\u2019s comment, regarding him as rude and arrogant. Still, she continued to watch during recess. It was like watching a skilled acrobat performing tricks high up in the air, defying gravity and death. None of the playground equipment was safe from Paul. He scaled metal bars resembling a colorful spider web, wriggled across a rope bridge using only his legs, scaled the rock wall one-handed, and even walked the plastic border circling the playground with both eyes closed.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The last day of school before summer break, she decided it was time to conquer the monkey bars. To her surprise, she found it easy, though she played it safe, keeping her feet on the ground the whole time. Not wanting to be outdone by a girl, the boy followed behind her, his feet never touching the ground. They hadn\u2019t spoken to each other since he had been rude to her. This felt like her moment to get back at him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSee? I\u2019m not a wuss.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re not?\u201d the boy said, swinging upside down from one of the bars.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou don\u2019t believe me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy crossed his arms across his chest. Being upside down, his light brown hair nearly touched the ground. \u201cThe monkey bars is nothing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ll show you.\u201d She thought about using the monkey bars again, but she really wanted to impress the boy. The rope bridge would surely do it. She slowly stepped onto the first rope, then the second and the third. Kneeling, she awkwardly swung upside down, keeping her ankles locked together. Trying not to panic, she pushed her dress out of her face then released her right leg to cling onto the next rope. You got this! <\/em>she told herself. Reaching up and grabbing the net, she accidentally slipped from the rope and fell onto a bed of mulch, cushioning her fall. She laid there a moment, feeling not hurt but embarrassed. Paul would surely gloat about this now, calling her a wuss or sissy. She blew it. They\u2019d never speak again.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you okay?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Moving slightly, the jagged pieces of mulch scraped her face, and she stood up. Brushing off her dress as best she could, she shied away, knowing the boy was staring at her. \u201cI guess I\u2019m still a wuss,\u201d she said defeatedly, looking at anything but the boy. She\u2019d be the wuss forever to him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2014was\u2014AWESOME!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy perked up, \u201cWhat?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve never seen a girl try it upside down.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou haven\u2019t?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy shook his head.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid you say awesome?<\/em>\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy frowned, \u201cI got stuck and fell.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAt least you tried.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDo you still think I\u2019m a wuss?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid I call you that?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou did. I thought it was very rude.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul furiously scratched the side of his head like ants were chewing on his hair. \u201cI didn\u2019t mean to hurt your feelings.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI want to see you do it, upside down like I did. Are you scared?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The boy\u2019s eyes widened, excited by the challenge. He again crossed the rope bridge upside down, shimmying like a gibbon monkey using ridiculously long arms and legs. Daisy crossed her arms, \u201cI don\u2019t know how you do it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPractice.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve always been too scared for that type of stuff.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can teach you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bell rang, ending recess and their moment together. \u201cWell, see you next year.\u201d Paul ran with the other kids back to where their teacher stood ushering them inside, \u201cTime to get back to class. Come on, everybody!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy touched her cheek, swearing it was warmer than usual. She had conquered the monkey bars, challenged the rope bridge and talked with Paul, who thought she was AWESOME! All in one day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cCome on, Daisy, time\u2019s up.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The playground was no longer a scary place to be. It felt safe and filled her with a sense of confidence. She could be as good as the boy with enough practice. A scary thought disturbed her, What if he switches schools and I never see him again? <\/em>He wouldn\u2019t get to see the new and improved Daisy next year.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDaisy?\u201d It was the boy now calling for her to return. She smiled, her face definitely hot now as she rushed over to him. He offered his palm and she returned hers for a handshake. \u201cI like that name. My name\u2019s Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s nice to meet you, Paul,\u201d she said, following him inside.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The entire summer, she surprised her overly cautious parents by insisting on visiting the playground as many times as possible. No obstacle or challenge stood a chance against the new-and-improved Daisy Peppercorn. By the time eighth grade started, she felt like Paul, an experienced man-turned-monkey swinging upside down from the rope\u2019s. She was relieved to find Paul the first day, showcasing her success on the playground. They would eventually agree to be boyfriend and girlfriend.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy felt like a fossil reminiscing about her school days, their beautiful church wedding, her career as a journalist, feeling suddenly sick as the timeline of her life car crashed into the loss of her sweet Peppers. \u201cIt\u2019s been a while since the jungle gym, hasn\u2019t it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul laughed, \u201cYeah.\u201d He filled in another word, VORTEX.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMake sure to check those after you\u2019re done.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s no fun,\u201d Paul grumbled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She often found his completed crosswords incorrect compared to the answer key. Maybe it was better that way. Paul could feel like he had achieved something like he had during his many years as a successful furniture store owner, earning \u2018Business Of The Year\u2019 four times.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cRemember the day I fell off the jungle gym?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou looked like one big ball of yellow in your dress.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI felt so stupid.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI didn\u2019t think so.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re sweet to say that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou have that quality in you, the will to overcome challenges. That\u2019s what made you so fierce in the news biz.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNews was different. I was under a lot of pressure, constantly meeting deadlines.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAren\u2019t we all?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI suppose.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know you don\u2019t want to hear this again, but I know you, my sweet Daisy, will find a way to visit the bog again.\u201d His comment soured the mood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy are you bringing that up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBecause I know it\u2019s on your mind. You loved Peppers far too damn much to never go back.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat would I even do if I did? Cry at his grave, feel awful about it every time I go? Is it even marked?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s a straight shot across the bog. I made a cross behind a tree closest to where I buried him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy did we even choose the bog?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou told me yourself, sweetheart. It was Peppers\u2019 favorite place on the planet.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI wish we had just planted him in the yard. Or not buried him at all.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe agreed on the location. Many times, honey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat if somebody digs him up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAll the more reason to check up on him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI don\u2019t know what I was thinking. It\u2019s like running over a deer on the highway and returning every so often to pay your respects.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThis isn\u2019t a deer, though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know that. Can you dig him up and bring him back?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul wrote STOP in one of the four-word bubbles without realizing it. \u201cAbsolutely not! You\u2019ll come to hate him buried in the backyard, too. Remember how many times you said you couldn\u2019t stand to have him in the house?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI wasn\u2019t thinking clearly, I guess.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust give it time. You\u2019ll overcome this, I know it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cStop saying that. I feel like you\u2019re putting a lot of pressure on me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cFine. I won\u2019t bring it up again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid you need help with your crossword?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul erased the word STOP and shook his head. \u201cWhy don\u2019t you start your new book after lunch?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy glanced at the clock. Two p.m. \u201cLate lunch.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul took the hint, setting the newspaper aside to make tuna sandwiches. Daisy washed a bowl full of grapes and prepared a pitcher of lemonade. Tuna on rye with lettuce, onions and a splash of red-wine vinegar had been a staple of theirs since they moved in together decades ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow are the girls?\u201d Paul asked, pouring Daisy and himself a glass of lemonade.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTheir dresses weren\u2019t covered in grass stains,\u201d Daisy said.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, come on,\u201d Paul huffed, \u201cYou always look beautiful, whether your dress is dirty or not.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019re really going for those brownie points.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLife\u2019s too short to focus on the negative,\u201d Paul said mid-chew.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s been hard to focus on the positive. Anyway, Veranda was nice enough to lend me the book and Megan offered to take me to the shelter.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAnimal Control?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s bold of her to offer so soon. Let the wound heal a little, at least.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh? Mister look on the bright side<\/em>?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay, so it was a nice gesture. A bit premature, though.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m not ready for all that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEspecially since that\u2019s where we picked up Peppers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t remind me.\u201d Little dogs like Peppers were very popular compared to bigger dogs. They didn\u2019t last more than a day or two at the local shelter. Paul had not wanted a pet. He had grown up with two guinea pigs, loved them dearly, but had no interest in caring for a pet, claiming raising two boys was \u2018punishment enough.\u2019 Yet, Paul being Paul, granted Daisy\u2019s wish to adopt a small dog.<\/p>\n\n\n\n On that Saturday thirteen years ago, she had woken up very early to be the first one browsing kennels full of available dogs. Big dogs, all north of sixty pounds, welcomed her presence with a mix of barks and sad stares. Being in her early fifties at the time, she was still strong enough to consider a bigger dog. Paul, on the other hand, had a bad back, and though his issues were minor, she foresaw them worsening in the future. By God\u2019s grace coupled with a dependable line of healthy family genes, Paul\u2019s issues had remained minimal thirteen years later.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That day, the only tiny dog, who happened to be a puppy, lay in a ball, facing away, shivering on a paper-thin bed. Without thinking twice, she filled out an adoption application. The shelter promised she could pick him up in three days. Three days turned into an agonizing week and a half. Waiting around, wondering, hoping, made her angry she had put herself in this position. Paul was no help, claiming the pooch had probably been adopted or euthanized. How he changed his tune when she brought Peppers home. His pink nose and even pinker belly, his wiry, golden coat of fur, his pathetically adorable whimpers for food, love, and attention.<\/p>\n\n\n\n All those memories would flood back if she visited the shelter.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy cleared and washed the dishes before setting them in the drying rack. She spent the rest of the day and most of the evening reading A Bridge To Nowhere<\/em>. As she predicted, the part about the dog being beaten to death really stuck in her mind. Would she feel better if Peppers had been killed by someone else other than her? There would be someone else to blame, someone she could focus her anger on. The rest of the book felt like a slog until she reached the chapter where the Dad choked to death eating poisoned onion soup. At any other time, she would have felt sick reading about death. Now, she loved it. Karma for killing one of God\u2019s greatest creations. And, for being an abusive father, of course.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The next morning, she couldn\u2019t find Paul. She checked the entire property, even the outdoor enclosure Paul had built for Peppers. He had woken before her ever since she\u2019d known him. He would foolishly risk hurting his back working on something like blowing leaves and debris off the roof or crawl on his hands and knees setting up mouse traps in the garage. Her advice to take it easy fell on deaf ears. Paul was stubborn as an old mule.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Then, she remembered Paul left notes on the kitchen table in the rare event he made plans without telling her. It hadn\u2019t happened in a long time. Indeed, Paul had taped a note to a Raisin Grain box sitting beside a cereal bowl and spoon on the kitchen table. It read,<\/p>\n\n\n\n Good morning, my love!<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I decided today is the day to start my own routine of walking to the cranberry bog. I didn\u2019t want to tell you and cause any alarm. I will check on our sweet boy and be back soon.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n I made eggs and bacon. Top shelf in fridge.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n The air felt cool enough to wear her insulated coat while she waited on the bench swing for Paul to return. Paul had surprised her with the bench swing on their tenth anniversary, building it out of driftwood he had collected over the years during their trips to the beach. Paul correctly predicted it would become her favorite reading spot, affixing a collapsible, bronze metal footrest painted brown.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul had been wise keeping his intended hobby of walking to the bog a secret. She would have made a big fuss and tried to talk him out of it. The sun appeared behind another cloud as Paul appeared.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou sly dog,\u201d she said, patting the empty seat beside her. \u201cGet over here and tell me all about it.\u201d Paul did, putting his arm around her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThank you for breakfast,\u201d she said, kissing him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry for not telling you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou\u2019d be sorry if you hadn\u2019t left a note. How was it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPeaceful. The weather is perfect.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow\u2019s our boy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI told him we love and miss him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid the ground look like it had been dug up?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou worry too much, honey.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWorrying\u2019s what I do best.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul slapped his knees, wanting this to be a happy day, \u201cWhat should we do today?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat are two old retirees supposed to do?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAbsolutely nothing,\u201d Paul said, stretching his legs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n That\u2019s exactly what they did.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul stuck to his word and walked to the bog the following morning. He stopped short of the clearing. Two men in black waders collected basketfuls of cranberries. The duo worked as a team, one straining the cranberries then dumping the lot into a large basket held by the other man. They barely made a sound, gently moving through the water.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul waved to them, \u201cHey there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGreetings,\u201d the older man said, dunking the basket back in the water.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul approached and asked, \u201cHow many can you collect at a time?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The dark-haired younger man holding the basket shook it back and forth. Water streamed through the bottom back into the lake. \u201cAnywhere from five hundred to one thousand.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWow! Have you ever cleared a full lake in one pass?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s what the trucks are for,\u201d the older man said, raising the bucket again. Tiny water droplets fell from his thick beard.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy collect them manually?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019ve been collecting the first of the harvest by hand for years. Instead of being transported to our warehouse like the rest of these here, we use the first few to make a special batch of cranberry sauce. It\u2019s a longtime tradition of ours at Maplewish.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul recognized the name. Maplewish is one of the largest players in the fruit juice game. \u201cHow many bogs do you have around here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPlenty,\u201d the older man said, dumping his collection of berries into the other\u2019s basket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI hope you boys don\u2019t mind, but my wife and I buried our dog here the other day. We\u2019ve been taking walks here for years. Is this considered private property?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s federally protected. So, technically private land, but it\u2019s not a big deal if anyone visits,\u201d the young man responded. \u201cDid you say you buried your dog here?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYes. I hope that isn\u2019t a problem,\u201d Paul said, regretting he had mentioned the burial.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo problem at all. I\u2019m sure our boss, Mr. Maplewish, would love that you did that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Relieved, Paul joked, \u201cI sense sarcasm.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNot at all, sir. Mr. Maplewish is a good, honest guy.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI appreciate that, gentlemen.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSorry for your loss,\u201d the older man said. The younger man echoed his sentiment, \u201cYeah, sorry. You picked a good place for him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul found the cross he had made of sticks behind the tree closest to Peppers grave. He sat down on the patch of dirt, pretending Peppers could hear him, \u201cI hope your mother will join me one of these days. She misses you greatly. We both do. She\u2019s staying busy around the house to keep her mind off you. I know that sounds bad, but she blames herself for what happened. Peppers, I\u2019m sorry you\u2019re gone. I know the way it happened was scary. You\u2019re in a better place now. No more suffering, no more pain. And look, you have the best view one could ask for.\u201d He meant what he said; the cranberry bog is a peaceful place in the thick of nature.<\/p>\n\n\n\n He circled back to the trail leading home. The two men from Maplewish headed for a man waiting beside a truck at the edge of the bog. The third man began uncoiling a large suction hose. Soon, the bog would be drained, forcing frogs to temporarily abandon their lily pads.<\/p>\n\n\n\n At home, Paul greeted Daisy in the kitchen. \u201cThey\u2019re draining the bog today.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt always looks so dull after,\u201d Daisy said, comparing the drained bog to a gigantic tomato after having all of its red color sucke out of it. She handed him A Road To Nowhere.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDid you like it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy shrugged, \u201cIt has its moments.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul noted the page count and said, \u201cI\u2019ll make quick work of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan called Daisy later that day wanting to meet for lunch at a local coffee shop. Daisy agreed, excited to be getting out of the house again. Cup Of Joe\u2019s<\/em>, a family-owned coffee shop, was Daisy\u2019s favorite in town. The flavors were head and shoulders above the other mega-chain coffee shops, not to mention the long-term staff made an effort to get to know her beyond her first name.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHello, Daisy!\u201d Three baristas working behind the counter smiled as she walked in.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The smell of coffee was always so inviting; she\u2019d considered working there part-time just to be surrounded by the lovely aroma.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHello, Daisy!\u201d Megan waved, sitting at one of the tables by the window. \u201cHow many times a week do you stop by?<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou received quite the welcome there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve been coming here for years.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBetter than Bruno\u2019s?\u201d Bruno\u2019s was their regular coffee spot that Veranda had introduced them to years ago.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat\u2019s good here?\u201d Megan asked. The whiteboard behind the counter included an overwhelming array of options.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cEverything,\u201d Daisy smirked. \u201cThe French Silk is my go-to.\u201d Preferring her coffee black meant she wanted the darkest, most flavorful roast. Knowing Megan preferred hers with milk and sweetener, Daisy suggested the iced latte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDone,\u201d Megan said, reaching for a napkin in advance.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brooks, a bubbly brunette Daisy didn\u2019t recognize, took their orders then tended to a couple that had just sat at a table behind them. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou want any food?\u201d Megan asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m okay.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cVeranda told me you borrowed the book.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI finished it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan\u2019s eyes opened wide, \u201cAlready?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy nodded.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWow, that was fast! It took me an entire month to read it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI was bored. Well, that\u2019s not true. The part about the dog had me curious.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat do you mean?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy just couldn\u2019t help re-opening the mental wound afflicting her, \u201cI know this sounds morbid, but I enjoyed the part about the father dying the most. He deserved it for what he did to the dog.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTo be honest, I\u2019ve already forgotten most of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI think I would have, too. It\u2019s just\u2014with what\u2019s happened\u2014it was one of those books that spoke to <\/em>me. I know that sounds corny.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, not at all. I totally get it. You know, I have a pretty good idea what book Veranda will pick next.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Brooks returned with their coffee\u2019s, \u201cCan I get you two anything? Cream or sugar?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019re okay, thank you,\u201d Daisy smiled up at her.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy waited for the coffee to cool down, swishing the small spoon in circles. \u201cWhat\u2019s the book called?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAbrupt Impact<\/em>. An FBI agent discovers his wife is a double agent. That\u2019s the gist of it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSounds intriguing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s a long<\/em> book, though. Over five hundred pages.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOh, dear. We might need two months to read that one.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cListen, Daisy. I wanted to apologize for suggesting a visit to the shelter so soon.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s no big deal, Megan. It was a kind gesture.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt\u2019s just, you looked so distraught at Veranda\u2019s. I couldn\u2019t help but try and make things better.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI appreciate that. How bad did I look?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou want me to be honest?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAlways.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou looked like you could use a shower and a fresh pair of clothes.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBelieve me, I hopped in the shower as soon as I got home.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019d have done the same thing.\u201d Megan sipped her latte.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow is it?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA tad sweet, but very good.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cExactly why I prefer mine black. No extra junk like my sons get. You\u2019d think they were drinking an ice cream smoothie.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike those spiced pumpkin lattes they rave about in September. I tried one and nearly spit it out.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cBruno\u2019s<\/em> always goes crazy promoting those.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can\u2019t stand their commercials.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSpeaking of which, why didn\u2019t you want to meet at Bruno\u2019s<\/em>?\u201d Daisy asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI remember you mentioned this place a long time ago and wanted to try it. So, how\u2019s Paul?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSame old, same old. If he\u2019s not working on some project around the house, he\u2019s reading or relaxing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGood old Paul.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe scared me the other day going for a walk to the cranberry bog without telling me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s not like him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe did leave a note, which I later found after running around the house like a crazy person.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cLike, a paper note?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat other kind of notes are there?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMark and I plan everything in a calendar on our phone.\u201d Mark is her accountant husband and had to have every little event planned out and scheduled.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPaul and I used to pass notes in school. It\u2019s kind of our thing.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s so cute. Do you still walk to the bog? I know since\u2014well, I figured it would still be a nice walk to take.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPaul and I buried Peppers in the bog. I haven\u2019t been since. Paul has taken it upon himself to walk there every day to talk to him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you thinking of joining him soon? Sorry if I\u2019m being too forward again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI absolutely love the trail and the bog. I\u2019m not quite sure when I\u2019ll be up for visiting again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf I can make a suggestion, try to think of it as a couples walk and not where Peppers passed.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy hadn\u2019t considered that, having walked to the bog only with Peppers for thirteen years. \u201cWe\u2019ll see. I just wish it would have happened differently, that he hadn\u2019t drowned while I was supposed to be watching him. It eats me up every day. I feel like I unintentionally left my child in a hot car to die. I don\u2019t know how one gets over that kind of grief.\u201d Daisy realized she hadn\u2019t told Megan, Veranda or Christina how Peppers had died. All they knew was that Peppers passed away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIt sounds like an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMegan, I was on my phone<\/em>, my stupid phone<\/em>. I ignored Peppers for that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve experienced lots of animal loss before. All I can say is try the walks. They might help more than you can imagine.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat have you experienced?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo, it\u2019s nothing. I shouldn\u2019t have\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cJust tell me, Megan. Please.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay,\u201d Megan said, taking a deep breath before continuing, \u201cI had been volunteering at a rescue shelter, cleaning up kennels, taking dogs for a walk, whatever they needed me to do. I was getting ready to leave for the day when I found a chihuahua in a cardboard box, a freakin\u2019 cardboard box. No blankets, no food, no water, nothing. The poor thing was covered in painful, red sores, which turned out to be an incurable bacterial infection. Needless to say\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay, I get it. I\u2019m sorry I asked.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat feeling, like you can\u2019t do anything, was almost too much at times.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI assume the heartless owner dropped the dog off and left?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThe shelter had it all on camera. Not much we could do about it, sadly. The law does very little to punish such behavior.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWas anything done?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cA visit from the police with a nice note asking not to do it again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cSickening.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI had to take a break from volunteering after that.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI would have quit.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThere\u2019s good days then there\u2019s bad days.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIn the chihuahua\u2019s case, there\u2019s someone you can blame. I only blame myself for Peppers.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWell, let\u2019s talk about something more fun.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHow\u2019s Reily?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Megan beamed at the mention of her daughter, \u201cA firecracker just like her crazy Mom!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n ~~~<\/p>\n\n\n\n The bench swing rocked gently back and forth. Daisy laid her head on Paul\u2019s shoulder. Anticipating he would ask, she beat him to it, \u201cMegan is well. Riley has gone off to college. She\u2019s apparently loving it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul ran his fingers through her graying auburn hair, \u201cGreat to hear she\u2019s doing so well.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHoney, I think I\u2019m ready to take the walk with you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul sat up, surprised, \u201cReally?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t quote me on that. Don\u2019t set a day or time. I\u2019ll be outside before you when I\u2019m ready.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cOkay, my love. I\u2019m so proud\u2014\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cNo compliments, either,\u201d she said, squeezing his arm. \u201cNot about this.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s going to be tough.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPromise me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI promise.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy woke up earlier every day to prepare herself to take the walk. She read while Paul took his walk. Sitting in the bench swing would be her reward for braving the walk to see Peppers. Paul kept his promise, avoiding any mention of Peppers or the walk. Four days later, Daisy donned her insulated blue jacket and waited for Paul in the back yard. Their home looked more inviting than ever. She could run back inside, go to sleep and try another day. There would be plenty of chances to take the walk with Paul. Peppers wasn\u2019t going anywhere.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul soon appeared, opening the back door. \u201cFunny seeing you here,\u201d he teased.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy breathed in the frigid morning air, fearful, her legs stiff. Paul\u2019s warm, mittened hand closed around hers. He walked alongside her up the seven wooden steps leading to the trail. The warmth from Paul\u2019s mitten spread to the rest of her, calming her, strengthening her resolve.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy focused on yellow and red leaves, softened from the morning dew, crunching under their feet, before closing her eyes, imagining Peppers by her side. Her right hand tensed and felt for a leash that wasn\u2019t there. She could hear Peppers collar jingle somewhere in the forest. \u201cI can hear him. He\u2019s here with us.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul played along, \u201cI hear him too.\u201d He made certain to match her pace, gently guiding her along the trail.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cMy sweet boy,\u201d Daisy continued, \u201cWe\u2019re going to your favorite place.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Peppers barked, excited as she unclipped the leash from his collar. Peppers burst forward with a torrent of energy. Nothing could stop him tearing through the forest. Squirrels kept their distance, familiar with the ferocious canine, all seven pounds of him.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cGo, boy, go! Take us to the cranberry bog.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Peppers happily sprinted ahead. Daisy threw the leash over her shoulder, \u201cHe\u2019ll meet us there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n The wind blew sharply against hefty limbs of trees, helping them to shed their leaves. Peppers barked in the distance. They soon stopped and Daisy opened her eyes. They had reached the clearing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat a scoundrel! He started without us.\u201d Daisy chased after Peppers into the clearing. Paul followed, his heart heavy. \u201cPeppers, you silly dog. Where did you go?\u201d She excitedly dashed around the bog, looking everywhere for her sweet boy. Peppers loved to hide. His golden coat acted as camouflage within the yellowing grass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI have treats for you!\u201d She felt for the cheese bites in her pocket.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHoney, what are you doing here?\u201d Daisy asked incredulously. Paul had never followed her to the bog before.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul continued to play along, \u201cI know where Peppers is.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy didn\u2019t you say so? Show me.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul led her to the spot adjacent to the cross behind the tree.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI swear I looked here,\u201d she pushed through the grass as if she had lost an earring. <\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe\u2019s not there.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat? What do you mean he\u2019s not there?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul knelt to the ground, patting the earth, \u201cWe buried him here.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cThat\u2019s not funny, Paul. Now, where is he?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDaisy, he passed away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She took a step back, \u201cWhat did you say?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPeppers passed away.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cIf he\u2019s gone, then why do I have a\u2014\u201d She felt for the leash on her shoulder, then the treats in her pockets. She had neither. The cranberry bog, Peppers favorite place, looked ugly now, like a giant, flat pile of grass. \u201cPeppers,\u201d she whispered. She studied both of her palms like they\u2019d been dipped in blood.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat have I done?\u201d she said, falling to her knees. Paul started rubbing her shoulder, but she protested, \u201cPlease, let me be.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Every awful detail of that day came rushing back. Her best friend, her sweet boy, was indeed gone. The air felt colder, biting at her skin. She shivered, putting her hands in her pockets. The bog was nothing more to her now than a graveyard. There was nothing left for her here.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWe\u2019re here with you, Peppers,\u201d Paul said, gently resting his hand on the ground. \u201cMama and Papa are right by your side.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy crawled over and placed her hand beside his, \u201cHow can I forgive myself? How?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cYou come here and talk with him. Let Peppers know you\u2019re thinking of him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy wiped cold tears from her eyes. \u201cDo you forgive me? Don\u2019t say you love me. That\u2019s not an answer.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI never blamed you to begin with. What happened was an accident.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhat if I do it again? What if you\u2019re dying and I ignore you?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDon\u2019t think like that. This wasn\u2019t your fault. Please try and remember. Peppers was old and fragile. He went quickly. You could have put yourself in danger going after him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe\u2019s gone and it\u2019s my fault.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cPeppers loves you with everything in his heart.\u201d Paul put his hand over hers, \u201cWe will see him again.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cWhy did I even come here?\u201d she pulled her hand away. \u201cI hate this place.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n He pulled her hand to his chest, \u201cWill you walk with me here every day so we can speak with him? Can you promise me?\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI can\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTalk to Peppers. Tell him you love him.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cHe knows I love him, Paul!\u201d she yelled. \u201cI can\u2019t forgive myself!\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul shied away from her yelling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She wiped away more tears and let Paul help her to her feet. \u201cLet\u2019s go home.\u201d Daisy walked ahead of Paul, annoyed that he had tried so hard to make her promise in her distraught state. It would have been a lie. Losing someone you so dearly loved was always hard, returning to the scene of the crime even worse. The bench swing would not be her reward today. She had accomplished nothing.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Paul avoided her, giving her the space she needed, which she was thankful for. She appreciated him more than he would ever know.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She hated this feeling. How could such a calming place like a cranberry bog feel like such a torturous hell? Maybe it was time to find a new place to walk, although the street they lived on remained steadily busy, with no sidewalk to speak of.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019m not weak,\u201d she whispered under the blankets. It didn\u2019t need to be said; she knew she was strong. The cranberry bog, like the playground, was just another obstacle to conquer. She kicked off the covers. Enough crying, enough tears! <\/em>She couldn\u2019t avoid and hate the cranberry bog forever.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She left the sanctuary of the bedroom she had holed up in all day. Paul tended to the never-ending scourge of weeds in the back yard. She made supper early, making enough for her and Paul. Without telling him, she retired early.<\/p>\n\n\n\n In the very early hours of the morning, Daisy frantically silenced the alarm, hoping not to wake Paul. \u201cWish me luck,\u201d she whispered, blowing him a kiss. She had two hours before Paul woke to take his walk. The last time she woke at the crack of dawn was when her second son, Monty, required daily encouragement to run three miles for cross country before the school day started.<\/p>\n\n\n\n The temperature being in the fifties, she bundled up with mittens, hat, and a zip-up fleece underneath a thick, insulated jacket. The first rays of sunlight appeared, trickling through the trees, reflecting off wet leaves from the night\u2019s rain.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Full of a sense of confidence she couldn\u2019t explain, she braved the trail. The voice in her head repeatedly told her to give up, to turn back. \u201cI\u2019m not weak. I\u2019m not weak,\u201d she kept saying. This time, she didn\u2019t reach for an imaginary leash or treats or hear Peppers bark. Taking a couple deep breaths, she entered the clearing and stopped where Peppers had drowned. She could hear his panicked cries, the freezing cold water after she jumped in, frantically feeling underwater for him. She had tried to save him long after she told herself he was gone, lightly pressing on his belly after blowing air into his mouth. Her panicked, horrified screams shattered everything she had come to love about the cranberry bog. That awful walk home felt like it would never end.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She checked behind each tree closest to the bog, remembering what Paul had told her of the cross he had made. \u201cThere you are,\u201d she said, walking adjacent from the cross to the earth nearest the bog. The drained cranberry bog looked not ugly and gloomy but wet and beautiful. Crickets chirped while frogs croaked. Clouds of mosquitoes danced everywhere. There was life here. Beautiful, thriving life. Life that would be around long after she and Paul were gone<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI\u2019ve missed you,\u201d she said, not with sadness but with tenderness.<\/p>\n\n\n\n She knelt and removed her mitten, touching the earth, \u201cLooks like you have a few friends to keep you company,\u201d she ran her fingers through the dirt the same way she used to run them through Peppers golden fur.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cI know you\u2019re probably sick of me telling you, but I miss you. I love you. Papa and I are going to visit you every day.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She imagined Peppers running as fast as his little legs would carry him. He would be chasing something in the underbrush before giving up and running back into her arms.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cTomorrow, I\u2019ll read you a story. I think you might like it.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cDaisy! There you are.\u201d Paul ran into the clearing and didn\u2019t stop until he had reached her. He crumpled to his knees and fell backwards onto his back. Exhausted, he said, \u201cHoney, I was very worried about you. You didn\u2019t leave a note. I tried calling you.\u201d<\/p>\n\n\n\n She had left the phone at home on purpose.<\/p>\n\n\n\n \u201cAre you alright?\u201d he asked.<\/p>\n\n\n\n Daisy turned her head, looking from the bog to Paul. Regarding him lovingly, she said, \u201cI\u2019m fine. Our sweet Peppers is with us.\u201d <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Daisy started to clear the plates only to stop and stare once more at the steps leading to the trail. She yearned to watch her best, bite-size friend, Peppers, scrambling off the porch steps, excited for the trail walk to the picturesque cranberry bog. Peppers, seven pounds of pure Yorkshire…<\/p>\n